


A Beginning

by Elveny



Series: Feels like Destiny [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 05:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8476762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elveny/pseuds/Elveny
Summary: A mission that leads to more than working together.





	1. A Rishi Night

Their falling in love hadn’t been planned. It had just happened, between battles, while joining forces and some of it had come from the need to hold on to something, someone. It had grown in exchanged glances and half-hidden smiles, in standing closer than necessary and in touching fingers when handing over a datapad. It had grown in a lingering look, in the delighted smile they smiled when seeing each other again after a mission and in teasing, playful words that had more truth to them than they cared to admit.

There had been a night of indulgence, of too much alcohol and music and laughter, of forgetting why they were on Rishi. It was maybe the first time since the Emperor that Jiune had felt truly free, surrounded by her crew and friends, laughing at Jakarro’s and Ceetwo’s banter, interrupted only by Kira’s and Lana’s dry comments. The two women got along better than anyone had anticipated. When Kira had first met the Sith, the only thing she had done was glower at the woman but at one time, she had surprised herself by amusedly snorting at one of Lana’s comments and ever since, they had a friendly competition running who could outwit the other one. Rusk and TeeSeven had some discussion about battle techniques, using Doc as an example, who still bit his teeth out by trying to flirt with Lana. Surprisingly, he was a good sport about it. At some point Doc disappeared with a dashing woman nearly twice his height and when he came back a few hours later he had a slightly confused but content look about him. Jiune wondered why Scourge was there since he only towered in the corner, an unreadable look in his eyes, but when she asked him about it, boldened by a cocktail or four, he refused to answer or leave. She looked at him questioningly and remembered a conversation they had about him not being able to feel or taste or experience anything and suddenly she understood. She smiled at him and went to the bar, asking for the sweetest and brightest drink they had and made them put a cherry on top of it, then brought it to Scourge. He gave her a look that betrayed his surprise but after a second he unfolded his arms to take the cocktail.

“A taste of colour and sunshine on your skin. Or at least the attempt”, she said and winked at him, before returning to the table.

“You really are not bothered by him”, Theron said with wonder in his voice and Jiune shrugged before she shook her head.

“No.”

He looked at her with raised eyebrows and she grinned, before she acknowledged: “I used to be scared half to death by him when I first met him.” She looked over at the former Wrath of the Emperor who took a careful sip of his drink, a bewildered look in his red eyes. She smiled, a hint of sadness in her expression. Remembering that was remembering a time before the Emperor, before the nightmares. She quickly turned her thoughts away from it and took a sip of her cocktail herself but when she looked at Theron she knew he had caught it.

“It was a long time ago”, she finally said, shrugging. “He saved my life more than once, even after the big fight, so… no. I am no longer bothered by him.”

“I can’t imagine you being afraid of anyone”, Theron said with a short laugh. “You always seem so sure of yourself. It’s a Jedi thing, I guess.”

Jiune laughed humourless. “Certainly not. To both of it.” If she knew anything then that being a Jedi did not mean being without emotions or to be sure of oneself. She took a deep breath and raised her glass, in a try to bring the light mood back.

“But if I let people know when I was afraid, they wouldn’t trust the Jedi as they do, would they? And we cannot let the image of the brave and fearless and knowledgeable Jedi be tarnished.” She winked and Theron took it as she meant it, despite the sarcasm in her voice. He laughed and they clinked glasses.

They found themselves at the beach at dusk. When the bar had closed in the wee hours, Theron had asked if she wanted to take a stroll and she had happily agreed, enjoying the cool, fresh air after the fug of the bar. The bartender threw two or three snoring or blabbering, drunk customers out behind them on the street and somewhere in the distance, they heard Jakarro’s unmistakable voice, followed by an incomprehensible digital statement.

“Didn’t they leave hours ago?” Jiune asked. Theron nodded and they both laughed.

They talked about their Jedi parent (or in Jiune’s case parents) and how it had influenced them, about their favourite places on Tython and the little things that kept them going when everything seemed to consist of battles. On their way, they passed a half-dressed, self-absorbed guitar player on the beach. His three cords had a strangely meditative note to them and they sat down in some distance.

“I should be meditating to be ready for the day”, Jiune said with a sigh, looking at the waves rolling in.

“Oh. I shall leave you to it then”, Theron immediately said and started to get up. Jiune caught him by the hand and stayed him.

“I said I should. Not that I would. Please stay.”

He looked at her hand and she immediately let go, feeling a bit of colour creep in her cheeks. But he sat down again, just close enough to nearly touch her.

For a long while neither of them said anything. Jiune felt her heart flutter each time he moved and she knew she should have let him go, to focus on the mission again, on not getting attached but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to. And for the first time in her life, she really didn’t care what anybody else thought of it, not even the Council. She just wanted him to stay exactly here, with her, close enough to feel the warmth rising from his skin, to hear him breathe if she concentrated hard enough, to smell the faint, slightly musky, distinctive odor characteristic for him. She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply, a soft smile on her lips, just feeling him next to her, comfortable even without touching him. Better than any meditation, she caught herself thinking.

“You know you don’t have to pretend for my sake”, Theron finally said and she looked at him in surprise.

“Pretend what?” she asked, not quite catching up.

He returned the look in earnest. “To not be afraid”, he said, returning to their conversation from hours ago. Jiune did not know what to say.

“I…” she started, then fell silent again, looking at her hands, then the pink-streaked horizon, the waves, anywhere but him. Something in her clenched and suddenly her throat felt thick. The statement had taken her off guard and she blinked quickly to suppress the threatening tears, unable to answer. The intensity of her emotions was a little shock. How did he manage to cut to the chase so easily, so suddenly? Had she betrayed so much of herself in what she had said? Or was he just so able to read her?

A warm, careful hand on her back, firm but not demanding. “I’m sorry”, Theron said softly. “I didn’t want to upset you.”

Jiune closed her eyes and took a deep breath, using the years of practice to get a hold on her emotions, calming instantly. But no amount of practice could erase the echo of anguish and terror in her heart that had been there since she knew the Emperor was back. She didn’t bother with lying to Theron by saying she wasn’t upset, even though it would have been expected of her. Instead she wiped the lone tear from her eye and smiled a sad smile.

“Nobody ever said that to me before”, she said, very quietly, holding his gaze, wanting to say more, yet not being able to. Not yet. How do you tell someone of the horror you experienced and mastered just to have it thrown back into your face? How do you tell of the darkness lurking in one’s heart and of the fear that it will overtake you once more?

His eyes told her that her face showed more than she intended to and he tenderly touched her cheek. Instinctively, she leaned into the touch, ever so slightly and something in his expression softened.

“Well, I mean it”, Theron answered and she knew that he understood how much remained untold. She was thankful that he didn’t pry. Following an instinct, she closed the tiny gap between them and snuggled against his side, laying her head against his shoulders. His arm came around her and held her close.

“I know you do. Thank you”, she murmured and felt his warm breath in her hair as he tenderly kissed her brow.

There was peace to be found in his presence, in his touch. Jiune couldn’t remember when she had last been in such close, extended contact with someone and she wondered at the warm light that seemed to fill her, every time he drew her closer or adjusted his arm ever so slightly for them to be comfortable. The echo of horror and dread in her heart fell silent as he laid his cheek against her hair while they watched the sun go up.


	2. Leaving for Yavin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theron gets captured and Jiune realizes just how much the thought of losing him scares her.

Even after their night at the beach and the growing knowledge that she was feeling more for him than she should - way more - Jiune hadn’t expected the horror she experienced when she heard that Theron had been captured, a feeling that was different from the angered shock she remembered of similar situations and she was fully aware that she should put a stop to her emotions now. Her calm acknowledgment of Lana’s assessment of the situation was even a step in that direction but deep in her heart she knew that hadn’t the plan involved to get him out NOW, she had reacted quite differently.

Jiune hadn’t been in love before - not like that. There had been fleeting feelings of admiration or attraction and the occasional lover but not that depth of emotion she felt when she looked at him. And when she saw him run towards her, battered, bloody, blaster in hand, her relief was so tangible that she felt it like a warm shower after a cold night outside. Muttering a Thank You to the Force, she made sure to stay at his side the whole way out. There was too much going on to think too much about emotions afterwards and at one point she made a conscious decision not to. When they were in the shuttle back to Raider’s Cove, she concentrated on healing his worst injuries, despite his protests and the muttered “There’s really no time for that”.

“We can’t do anything about Revan while we’re riding a taxi, Theron, so I might as well”, she said and pointedly ignored his further comments and the way he looked at her when she tended to his face.

“You actually came for me”, he said after a while and she smiled without looking up from her work.

“Of course I did. You didn’t expect me to leave you behind, did you?” When he didn’t immediately answer, she looked at him, surprised by the intensity of his gaze.

“I…” he started, then shook his head, composing himself. “No. Of course not.”

Jiune let her hands sink down for a moment. “Theron, even if you suspect Lana put you through this on purpose - she was intent on getting you out”, she said. “And even if she hadn’t been, I would never just leave you behind. Neither would Jakarro”, she added after a second. Theron didn’t answer and just nodded and after a moment, she resumed with the healing.

When they arrived, events proceeded so quickly that they didn’t have a moment alone. Something in Theron’s eyes had alarmed Jiune and she felt antsy. She caught him looking at her once or twice but the chance to even change a word did not occur - not until they were ready to leave for Yavin.

“It’s been too long since we’ve talked, Theron. Can you stay for a while?” she asked and it came out all wrong. Lana gave her a ‘Really.’-look and Jiune felt her cheeks burn but she needed to make sure that… something. It was ridiculous, but she couldn’t even put her finger on what exactly she hoped for in that conversation, she just felt the need to talk to him, before they left Rishi and with it maybe everything that had happened here behind. A part of her was sure he would say something on the line of ‘No time now’ but instead he answered so quickly that it seemed he had hoped for something like this. “Of course.”

When the rest had left, he didn’t even ask what it was she had wanted to talk about, it was more like he had waited for the chance to get something off his chest.

“Guess you’ll think twice next time a spy asks you out for a ‘quick chat’. Wouldn’t want to go through all this again”, he said with a smile that wasn’t quite real, an unasked question in his eyes.

“We’ve been through a lot, haven’t we?” she said with a half-smile and he nodded.

“I may have mentioned this before but I’ve never been much of a team player. Things usually go better for me when I’m on my own”, he said with a gesture that was nearly shy, but his next words were accompanied by a certain sparkle in his eyes that made her stomach flutter. “Relying on someone else has been interesting. I’m beginning to think I should’ve started a long time ago.”

“Why did you work alone?” she asked, curious, but even more to just say something, and he shrugged.

“I like to think they just couldn’t keep up. The Director probably has a different opinion.” He shrugged again and looked down, shifting from one foot to the other, betraying that there was more to his next words than he wanted to let on. “Anyway, thanks. Working with you has made all this madness worthwhile.”

Jiune had stopped worrying about what might happen if she gave in to her feelings for Theron when she had learned that he was being tortured. The thought of actually losing him had been scarier than she would’ve admitted and it was not something she wanted to feel ever again. Not if she could help it. She wanted this, him. And now, nothing else mattered but his presence. His posture told her that he himself didn’t really know what to expect from this and that he even expected her to tell her to get lost. Her heart clenched and she took a step towards him. He looked up in surprise, finally holding still when he saw the tenderness in her eyes and with a boldness that surprised herself, she took his hand.

“The feeling is mutual”, she said with a smile and his eyes lit up, showing his delight and relief, and then he was kissing her and the world stopped spinning. Her eyes fluttered close and she melted against him, bringing a hand up to touch his face. His lips were soft and tender and she sighed silently, opening her lips beneath his searching, careful kiss as her heart did a happy little dance. His arms came around her, holding her close and she could feel his heart quicken. There was a promise of heat and passion in the kiss and when they parted, conscious of their friends waiting just outside, his eyes sparkled.

“I’m glad we’re on the same page”, he said with a smile that was warmer than she had ever seen before and he touched her face gently before reluctantly releasing her.

“Come on, let’s go see what Yavin has in store for us”, he said, becoming business-like again and she grinned and nodded, more happy than she had thought she’d be able to feel and when they went towards the shuttles, they walked closer than necessary.


	3. Goodbye for now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiune and Theron say goodbye after defeating Revan.

After the fight with Revan, Jiune felt more than drained. She was tired to the bone, no, more than that: tired to the core of her soul. Even with all their power together, with powerful people like Master Satele and Darth Marr (who had earned her respect), it had been a close call - and it hadn’t worked. The Emperor was back, truly back. She knew she wouldn’t be sleeping tonight and something in her wondered if she would ever sleep again. At least not without wondering if she would still be herself when she woke up.

Despite seeing Kira’s confidence and despite knowing that the Emperor hadn’t been able to overtake her friend again after she freed herself from his control, Jiune wasn’t nearly as sure about herself. After all, Kira had been able to free herself, while she had needed the push from a Force spirit. It was something that ate at her in lonely hours in the midst of space. Once she had asked Scourge about the Emperor’s control and if he would be able to overwhelm her again and the Sith Lord had even answered without giving her the feeling that she was an inexperienced puppy compared to him that she normally had. But his answer still hadn’t been very comforting.

“I do not know, Jiune.” It was very rare that he used her name. “His power is beyond even what I had known about. But you mustn’t let your fear use you. Take it and make it into a weapon.”

She still didn’t know how.

And now - now the galaxy knew about her failure and that her title and honors meant nothing. She hadn’t defeated the Emperor after all. It even seemed like he got more powerful by no longer being bound to a corporeal form. Her dream of one day laying down the saber and robes, her one hope that she had shared with Master Orgus when he reminded her why she still fought, seemed further away than ever. Jiune looked down on her lightsabers before she packed them away, taking a deep breath.

Stepping out of her ship, she took a long look at Yavin, remembering Master Orgus’ words. It wasn’t herself she fought for. It was worlds like this - even if it was a Sith world. And despite the dark alignment it was full of beauty and history. A part of her had fallen in love with this planet - and she thought it to be a good sign for things to come. The truce with the Empire might be over, the alliance they had, gone - but it had been successful. She had found a good friend in Lana whom she would miss dearly and she respected many of the Imperial soldiers she had worked with. And they all had worked together successfully, which was more than most had expected. Maybe peace wasn’t as far away as people believed. And she had found Theron.

They hadn’t talked about their kiss nor repeated it but she felt close to him and his eyes told her he felt the same. Even if they had to part ways for now, in him she had someone to hold onto. But first, the hard part: saying goodbye. Even if it was only for now… she hoped.

She found him alone at a shuttle, working. A smile tucked at her lips. He really was a workaholic, barely ever stopping. When he saw her approaching, his face lit up and he put the datapad away.

“Well. Quite a ride, huh?” he said, coming towards her. “Revan’s down, the conspiracy’s over… I even got my job back. Wonders never cease.”

She nodded but neither of them smiled. They both knew this wasn’t over. “With the Emperor back, I have a feeling things are going to get even more interesting.”

“I’d bet on it”, Theron agreed with a grim nod, looking down. But when he looked at her again, his eyes got a mischevious look. “It’s funny. You’re this famous Jedi, but since we started you’ve been a spy, a saboteur, a fake pirate… how’d you pull it all off so well?”

Jiune grinned, thankful for the change of subject, and shrugged. “Ah, with help as good as you, everything is easy.” And it was true. She had had way more fun pretending to be a pirate than she’d thought possible.

He raised an eyebrow. “I could say the same about you.” When he came towards her, something in his smile had changed and Jiune felt her skin tingle as if touched by feathers. “Before we get going”, he started, “there is just one last thing I had in mind. If you think you can keep up.” He took her hand, running a thumb across her palm, a suggestive touch she felt somewhere else entirely. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked up at him and when she kissed him, there was more than just a promise of heat and passion in it.

“Was that what you had in mind?” she asked when she pulled back, breathless, her voice barely more than a purr.

“It’s a start”, he said coarsely and pulled her back against him, capturing her lips with his again. They slowly made their way towards the shuttle in unspoken understanding. His hand got caught in his own sleeve in his eagerness to shed his jacket and she could barely manage to find the many cords of her dress and when he laughed deep in his throat, she felt it against her bare skin, his muscles moving beneath her hands.

They barely made it inside the shuttle.

Neither of them said anything as they held onto each other afterwards. Her fingers ran softly over his face as if she wanted to remember every line by touch and he wouldn’t take his eyes off her, tenderly removing a strand of hair from her cheek, before he kissed her. Only when their breathing had leveled again did they reluctantly let go of each other to get dressed again. Jiune felt both incredibly happy and incredibly sad at the same time. With everything as it was, they couldn’t be sure when they would be able to see each other again. She sighed and decided to just enjoy the moments they still had.

Theron’s thoughts seemed to go a similar way, for as they left the shuttle, he nudged her and said with a boyish grin: “Just as I thought. Good at everything.”

She shot him a glance and laughed, straightening up.

“Come on”, Theron said. “Let’s go see what’s next for the best in the galaxy.” But when he started to go, he made his first steps backwards, as if he didn’t want to take his eyes off her, before he finally turned. Jiune took a deep breath and followed.


End file.
